TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER : John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
Question: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Answer: The umbrella. Interviewer: What will happen if I cut off one of your ears?
Punit: I won’t be able to hear too well.
Interviewer: And if I cut off both your ears?
Punit: I won’t be able to see too well.
Interviewer: How can that be?
Punit: My glasses will slip down my nose.
Customer: Give me one kilo mustard oil.
Shopkeeper: Here it is.
Customer: What about the free gift on offer?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, but there are no free gifts.
Customer: Do you think I am a fool? It is clearly written on the label, ‘Cholesterol free’.
Question: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: It was not ‘peeling’ well.
Sunil: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Sumit: So, what did you finally do?
Sunil: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.
Jenny: Ma’am, what is the meaning of go down?
Teacher: Warehouse
Jenny: Then ma’am, what is the meaning of go up?
Suman: What is the difference between man and superman?
Vishal: Man wears his underwear underneath his trousers and superman wears it outside his trousers.
A loud noise was heard from a house. The police arrived.
Police: Who is the owner of this house?
One of them: That is what we are trying to decide.
An elephant was playing with an ant.
Elephant: Oh, no! My mom is coming.
Ant: So, why are you scared?
Elephant: I’ll tell you later. Do something now.
Ant: Okay! Come and hide behind me.
Teacher: Name an animal which is not scared of the lion.
Ajay: A lioness.
HEIGHT OF CHALLENGE
Sardar left exam papers blank & wrote at end 'Dum hai to pass karke dikha'
Sardar 1 : HARBHAJAN male or female?
Sardar 2 : Female
Sardar 1 : How ?
Sardar 2 : Oye!! just now comentator told "A wonderful delivery by HARBHAJAN"
Dog was following sardar. Sardar laughed.
A man asked ' Why are you laughing ?
Sardar replied ' Oye I have put Airtel sim but Hutch network is
following!!! !'
A Sardar declares:
I Will never marry in my life & I'll advice the same to my children too'
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Interviewer : Do you know MS Office?
Sardar : If you give me address I can find it ?????
Sardar was writing the Passive voice of 'I MADE A MISTAKE'
Answer : 'I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE'
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from Auto,
Man asks Sardar, 'Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?'
Oye! Cant u read 'Parking for Two Wheelers only!'
Once Sardar was very hungry…. Went to a hotel he took only tea
without having food…
Guess why ??? Hotel Kamath …. (Kha Math)
Sardar was driving his car too fast. His friend asked why are you
driving so fast. Sardar said break failure yaar…
I want to reach home before accident…!!
